How we compare to other dating apps
Five comparisons against the platforms non-monogamous people actually use. We build one of the products in every one of them, so these are argued cases rather than neutral reviews, and each says plainly where the other option is the better choice.
How to read these
We built one of the two products being compared on every page here, and that is worth stating at the top rather than burying in a disclaimer. Treat each of these as the best case we can make, honestly argued, rather than as a neutral review.
What we have tried to do is make them useful anyway. Every comparison includes a section setting out where the other platform is genuinely the better choice, because a comparison that concludes we win in all circumstances is worthless to a reader and obviously so. In several of them the honest answer is that a larger platform will serve you better, and we say so.
We do not link to competitors
You will not find outbound links to any of the platforms discussed. That is a deliberate policy. Everything said about them is drawn from their own public descriptions of themselves and from what members tell us, and their features change, so check anything that matters to you with them directly.
The three kinds of competitor
The platforms non-monogamous people use fall into three groups, and the useful comparison is different for each.
- Mainstream apps with no accommodation. Built entirely around pairing, with no concept of a couple and no way to represent a structure. Tinder is the largest example. The comparison here is about disclosure fatigue and what a product with no category for your situation does to the people in it.
- Mainstream apps with filters. OkCupid is the significant one, and it does more for non-monogamous users than any other large platform. The comparison here is about what a filter can and cannot do when it is narrowing an overwhelmingly monogamous population.
- Specialists. Feeld, #Open and 3Fun are all built for this audience, and the comparisons are correspondingly closer and more interesting. The differences are about design philosophy rather than about whether the platform takes non-monogamy seriously.
The honest summary
If we compressed all five pages into one paragraph it would be this. If you live in a large city and want the biggest possible pool, a mainstream platform will have more people near you than any specialist can, and that matters more than most product arguments. If you are settled in a structure, searching as part of a couple, or tired of the disclosure conversation reappearing in a slightly different costume, a specialist platform is a better fit. Many members use both, and there is no reason not to.
What we think we do better than any of them is depth on structure and depth on place. Our profiles ask about existing partners, agreements and how much time you actually have, because those determine compatibility more reliably than preferences do. And our country and city guides cover how each local scene is genuinely organised, which no competitor we know of attempts.
What we are not
We are not the largest platform in any market and we do not claim to be. We are not built for people who want fast, low-commitment browsing, because our profiles ask more of you before you get anywhere. And we are not the right choice for someone whose interest is primarily in meeting people rather than dating them, which is a legitimate thing to want and something a differently designed platform does better.
The four things worth comparing
Most app comparison writing rates platforms on interface and pool size. Those matter, and for non-monogamous dating they are not the variables that decide whether a platform works for you.
- Does the product have a category for your situation? A platform with no way to represent a couple pushes partnered people toward either being read as unavailable or misrepresenting themselves. Neither is a good outcome and both are design consequences.
- What does the profile actually ask about? Preferences, or arrangement. A tag system captures what you like accurately and captures your circumstances badly, which is why two people with identical preferences can be entirely incompatible on time and structure.
- Does moderation understand the difference? A report that someone is married means something very different on a platform where most members are partnered by design. Getting that wrong in either direction makes a platform unusable.
- Is there any local knowledge? Whether the community near you runs on public meetups or private networks changes how you should approach it, and a distance filter cannot tell you that.
Where each of the five sits
Briefly, and each page argues the case in full. Feeld is the closest competitor and the best designed of the mainstream-recognised specialists, with genuinely thoughtful partner-linking; the difference is exploration versus settled structure. OkCupid does more for non-monogamous users than any other large platform and is limited by what a filter can do to a monogamous population.
Tinder is the largest and least accommodating, and the comparison is really about disclosure fatigue. #Open is the most interesting comparison because it is a genuine specialist with a different design philosophy, structured tagging rather than description. 3Fun is couples-first and oriented toward meeting rather than dating, which makes it a different product for a partly different audience rather than a direct competitor.
If you are still working out what you want before comparing anything, the guides cover the vocabulary and the decisions that usually come first.
The five comparisons
Each names the competitor, sets out where they are better, and links to none of them.
The comparisons, answered
Are these comparisons neutral?
No, and we say so at the top of every one. We build one of the two products being compared in each case. What we have tried to do is make them useful anyway, which is why every comparison includes a section setting out where the other platform is genuinely the better choice.
Why do you not link to the competitors?
It is a deliberate policy. Everything said about them is drawn from their own public descriptions and from what members tell us, and their features change frequently, so anything that matters to you should be checked with them directly rather than through us.
Which non-monogamy app is biggest?
Among specialists, Feeld has the widest recognition and the largest pool in most cities. Among all platforms non-monogamous people use, the mainstream apps are far larger: OkCupid has roughly fifty million users and Tinder considerably more. In a smaller city that difference in raw numbers can outweigh every product-level argument.
Should I use more than one platform?
Many members do, and there is no reason not to. The common pattern is a mainstream platform for reach and a specialist one for depth. Members report that conversations beginning in the two places tend to start from noticeably different assumptions.
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