Trust and safety

The principle

Most platforms moderate reactively: something happens, somebody reports it, a decision follows. The approach here is to screen content as it is uploaded, monitor behaviour as it occurs, and give members direct tools so that they are not dependent on a queue.

There is a second principle that matters specifically on a site like this one. A moderation team trained on general dating treats a report that someone is married as evidence of deception. On a platform where most members are partnered by design, that reading is wrong, and applying it would remove a large share of the legitimate community. The team here is briefed on the difference between ethical non-monogamy and infidelity as a working distinction rather than a policy line, and on the behaviour that genuinely does need removing.

Identity and verification

Confirming who is real, without requiring anyone to expose personal documents they would rather keep private.

• ID verification, the blue tick. Optional government ID verification with a visible badge. Confirms members are genuine and reduces catfishing risk.
• Video verification. A live video check with a moderator confirms identity without any documents changing hands. Authenticity without handing over sensitive ID.
• Age assurance. Age estimation with additional checks where required, preventing underage access and protecting vulnerable users.

All of this is optional and available at no cost. The reasoning is set out on the how it works page: a hard verification requirement would exclude exactly the members the country guides describe as most careful, including people with professional, immigration or custody reasons for discretion.

Privacy and control

You decide what is shared, with whom, and when. This is the section that matters most to the substantial share of members who need to be findable by the right people and invisible to everyone else.

• Safe usernames. Your real name and email address are never shown publicly, which prevents stalking, unwanted contact and being traced back to your social media.
• Location privacy. Your nearest town or city is shown, never your exact address and never a live location. Your home stays private.
• Instant blocking. Block anyone immediately and they can no longer contact you or see you. No waiting on a decision from anyone else.
• Easy reporting. Report a profile, a message or a photo in a few taps, and the report reaches a human.

Community trust

Signals that let members assess each other rather than relying entirely on the platform. The rating system is the most distinctive of these and the one most worth understanding.

The 4.6 figure is the average rating members have given each other, not a review score for the site. That distinction matters. It says the typical person here is someone others were glad to deal with, which is a more useful signal than a satisfaction score, and it is why individual ratings are visible on profiles rather than only in aggregate.

• Member rating system. A community signal reflecting how others have found someone to deal with, which is unusual among dating platforms and one of the more useful things on a profile. Ratings sit on individual profiles, so a low one is visible before you message rather than after.
• Badges. Verified, Chatterbox, Heartthrob and Most Popular, earned through verification and activity. They indicate someone is real, present and worth a message.
• Profile validation. A manual review by the team for members who want credibility without submitting identity documents.

Active protection

• Proactive content screening. Photos and content are screened as they are uploaded rather than only when reported.
• Real-time behaviour monitoring. Patterns associated with scams, spam and harassment are detected as they happen.
• Human moderation. Reports reach real moderators rather than being decided by automation alone.
• Rapid removal. Accounts found to be operating in bad faith are removed rather than warned indefinitely.

The behaviour this community specifically polices

Beyond the general categories, three things get particular attention here because they are specific to non-monogamous dating and would be invisible to a team without context.

• Profiles that exist to deceive a partner. Somebody whose partner does not know is not practising a variant of ethical non-monogamy, and this is the clearest line the platform draws. Privacy about your arrangement is yours to manage. Concealment from someone with a stake in it is not.
• Couples misrepresenting participation. A profile written by one partner on behalf of both, where the other is along rather than involved. This is the pattern described in unicorn hunting explained, and it produces most of the complaints from solo members.
• Pressure tactics aimed at solo members. Persistence past a clear no, framing hesitation as inexperience, or presenting an arrangement as more equal than it is.

Support

Support is available 24 hours a day in every market the platform operates in. If something goes wrong at two in the morning in Melbourne, there is somebody to reach.

The wider point is that safety on a platform like this one is not only a technical question. A great deal of what keeps members safe is that the community itself has good norms, and the country and city guides document those in detail: how endings are handled in Perth, why reputation carries in Adelaide, what metamour culture expects in New Zealand. Those conventions do more day-to-day work than any feature list.